I couldn’t sleep well last night because I was too confused and too disappointed. For the past three months, I have been texting with a guy I met from a work meeting. The first couple times I saw him, he had opened a new business and he kept inviting me to his office to visit. Eventually, I went and had a look, and he took me out for lunch as well as invite me to come by often. After adding me on Facebook and then asking for my number in order to Whatsapp me, we proceeded to chat.
And we chatted… and chatted… and chatted. It’s been over three months now, and he would message me every day – without fail. Of course, I began to think, when is going to ask me out? I had begun to like him and the confusing part was, his messages were sometimes laced with hints that he was interested, but he wouldn’t explicitly ask me out. He would only continue to invite me to his office or find reasons why I should drop by. When I do happen drop by, he would take me out for lunch, and he would always attempt to help me when he realizes I am having issues with something.
From our text message, I realized that he hasn’t had an official girlfriend before, so I naturally thought that maybe, he’s just shy. Maybe I can create an opening for him to ask me out, so I tried. I would tell him, “Why don’t you take me to ___,” or “Maybe we can do that together,” but his response would always be “That sounds like a good idea.” Despite sounding positive about it, he never followed up on any of my suggestions.
There was a time when he asked me what I was going to do on my day off. I asked him to give me suggestions and he gave me the most elaborate plans and suggestions of where I should go for coffee, the local markets to visit, where to go for lunch etc. When I asked him if he meant for me to go alone to do all this, his response was, “Why not? I would do all of it alone.”
I have had an abundance of WTF moments with him. Looking back, I spent a LOT of time chatting with him. I don’t know about men, but women get immersed quite quickly the more time we focus our attention with someone. What scares me is that the more I chat with him, the more I will like him, and if things don’t go well, I may feel devastated. This is where I must make my decision. Do I want to “waste” any more of my time chatting with him? I have enough penpals on my contacts list, and I certainly do not want him to string me along and play with my feelings. It’s like a crazy rollercoaster ride I am on. When he hints at something, I get happy, but when he fails to take me up on my suggestions or hints, I drop.
The conclusion I’ve come to is that he may not be as interested in me as I thought. The other possibility is that maybe he’s not ready. In both cases, it’s not something I should be worrying about and I certainly do not have the time to wait around for him to make a move. Ladies, beware of men who only seem interested in chatting. If you want to chat with someone, look for a friend. We are always hoping that something might happen during the conversation we are having with the person we like, but don’t expect anything. We will only ever be disappointed.
The Pursuit of Clarity 