The Time Waster

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dating, dating and relationships, love, love issues, love problems, relationships

I couldn’t sleep well last night because I was too confused and too disappointed. For the past three months, I have been texting with a guy I met from a work meeting. The first couple times I saw him, he had opened a new business and he kept inviting me to his office to visit. Eventually, I went and had a look, and he took me out for lunch as well as invite me to come by often. After adding me on Facebook and then asking for my number in order to Whatsapp me, we proceeded to chat.

And we chatted… and chatted… and chatted. It’s been over three months now, and he would message me every day – without fail. Of course, I began to think, when is going to ask me out? I had begun to like him and the confusing part was, his messages were sometimes laced with hints that he was interested, but he wouldn’t explicitly ask me out. He would only continue to invite me to his office or find reasons why I should drop by. When I do happen drop by, he would take me out for lunch, and he would always attempt to help me when he realizes I am having issues with something.

From our text message, I realized that he hasn’t had an official girlfriend before, so I naturally thought that maybe, he’s just shy. Maybe I can create an opening for him to ask me out, so I tried. I would tell him, “Why don’t you take me to ___,” or “Maybe we can do that together,” but his response would always be “That sounds like a good idea.” Despite sounding positive about it, he never followed up on any of my suggestions.

There was a time when he asked me what I was going to do on my day off. I asked him to give me suggestions and he gave me the most elaborate plans and suggestions of where I should go for coffee, the local markets to visit, where to go for lunch etc. When I asked him if he meant for me to go alone to do all this, his response was, “Why not? I would do all of it alone.”

I have had an abundance of WTF moments with him. Looking back, I spent a LOT of time chatting with him. I don’t know about men, but women get immersed quite quickly the more time we focus our attention with someone. What scares me is that the more I chat with him, the more I will like him, and if things don’t go well, I may feel devastated. This is where I must make my decision. Do I want to “waste” any more of my time chatting with him? I have enough penpals on my contacts list, and I certainly do not want him to string me along and play with my feelings. It’s like a crazy rollercoaster ride I am on. When he hints at something, I get happy, but when he fails to take me up on my suggestions or hints, I drop.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that he may not be as interested in me as I thought. The other possibility is that maybe he’s not ready. In both cases, it’s not something I should be worrying about and I certainly do not have the time to wait around for him to make a move. Ladies, beware of men who only seem interested in chatting. If you want to chat with someone, look for a friend. We are always hoping that something might happen during the conversation we are having with the person we like, but don’t expect anything. We will only ever be disappointed.

The Show-Off

Tags

bad dates, blind date, dating, dating and relationships, dating problems, datingandrelationships, first date, men, weirdos

I once was on a date with a man whom was introduced to me by a friend. I have never met him in person prior to our meeting, so I didn’t know what to expect. We had one fairly awkward phone conversation with him over the phone which was laced with some fairly awkward silences. All I knew from what he told me was that money was important to him, and that he was a handsome fellow.

I was quite interested in what a guy would have to look like to call himself handsome, so I was excited to meet him. He was actually a little late in meeting me, which was alright – build some suspense. All I knew was to look for a hottie with red hair. When he showed… I must say that his idea of handsome wasn’t aligned with my definition, but nevertheless, I wanted to see if he was going to be easygoing and whether or not our conversation was going to be great.

With most first dates, we talk about our jobs, our hobbies, and our interests. And he can sure talk. He talked and talked about 75% of the time…about himself. He didn’t seem interested at all in learning about ME as he barely asked me any questions or inquired into my life. Most of the time, he was too busy talking that I couldn’t even interject a little bit of myself into the conversation. Whatever he was doing did not appeal to me at all. He didn’t ask about me, but all the facts and details he was telling me about was most certainly meant to impress me – or women.

Let give you a rundown of him first. He is a trucker for a concrete company – the largest in the area he says, and he prefers to work crazy hours because he gets great overtime money and benefits. He tells me that the engineers in his company doesn’t even make as much as he does! Then, he started telling me how he has a house already and how he fixes everything at home and has an amazing dog. He kept going on and on about the used, limited edition 2002 Jetta he just bought and how amazing it is. I am not too much into cars, and my lack of response should have hinted to him that I just wasn’t that interested. Nevertheless, he kept going on and on and as we were walking up the block, he wanted to show me his car which was just around the corner. He even showed me the new paint job he just did on it, and encouraged me to get in to try out the super comfortable seats, which by the way, weren’t even leather. I was just scared he would jump into the drivers seat and drive off with me, so I got out as quickly as I could.

I am not sure what misconceptions this man had of Asian women (he is Caucasian). I know that many people have a stereotype of Asian women where were are assumed gold diggers. And that we are only looking for someone with money, someone with a secure job and income, and a house, etc. Of course, having grown up in North America, I do not find this is true.

I just had a really bad date. I wanted to get out of there without being impolite, but I am usually too polite and stay till the end of the date. We were at totally different tangents though. He was there showing me and telling me things that he thought I wanted to see or hear, and me? I just wanted a good conversation and someone who could show just a shred of interest in me as well. I never believe them when someone tells me how great they are. I just nod. I will find out when they show me how great they are.

My final perception of him was that maybe he wasn’t as secure or confident about himself as he so seemed to be. Why else would he try to prove himself to me and tell me all this information that I never asked for? Confident people OOZE confidence from their pores; not from just their mouth.

The Problem of Size

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body issues, clothing, female body, health, inspiration, inspirational quotes, life, quote, skinny, skinny women, strong opinions, thin, weight, weight issue, women, writing

My sister is a size XXS – and she prides herself in this. Everything she owns or wears has to be the smallest it can be, down to her waist size, shoe size, and even her finger size.

We were both looking at rings one time and she asked me what my finger size was. My finger size is already pretty small – a size 6 – but after I told her this, I spotted a smug look on her face when she told me her finger was a lot smaller than mine – a size 4.  I thought, ridiculous. The telling look on her face and her matter-of-fact tone told me she ACTUALLY thought that she was better than me because she was smaller size. She also came to assume I wanted to be as small as she is. I remember she would tell me I couldn’t share her clothes because I was unfortunately bigger than her. I began to wonder,  when did people define smaller as better??  If you really want to compete with me, there are a multitude of things we can compare with, such as our physical abilities, our musical abilities, or our technical abilities. Of course, none of these would be a fair way to judge a person as being better than the other, but then again, neither does size.

The example I have given reflects the situation we have in our society. So many women are obsessed with being thin that many women PRIDE themselves over how skinny they are. I personally don’t think there is anything prideful about having to ignore the aching feeling in your stomach that is your hunger, or overworking your body in an attempt to slim down in order to fit that extra small dress. There are many many beautiful women in this world who don’t wear a size 0, but these women are often not portrayed to be beautiful in our media. Unfortunately, women are so accustomed to being bombarded with radio ads, tv ads, or magazines that encourage them to be thin, that we begin to think thin is the NORMAL.

Let me tell you, it is NOT normal when we have only one, single option to work toward.

There is a very strong association with a women’s sense of self-worth and with looking a particular way. I have met many many wonderful women with lots of redeeming qualities, but there is a very sad characteristic among them. Between the wonderful conversations and witty stories we share, an alarming number of them will say things like, “I need to work out to lose my tummy,” or “My legs are too fat, I don’t want to wear skirts,” or, “I shouldn’t eat that, I don’t want to get any fatter,” And I wonder, where does this stem from?

A few years ago, I was shopping with a male friend of mine whom I had a crush on, and I went to try on a sleeveless dress. For the past few weeks, I had been attending some bootcamp classes and I was happy because my arms were getting more toned from all the weights and the push-ups I was doing. After I came out of the change room with the cute dress on, my friend told me that I should stop working out because I was getting .. ahem .. muscular. At the time, I didn’t have the self confidence I do now to say something of worth back to him. In fact, I was extremely hurt and for the following few months, I was scared to work out because I didn’t want to look “muscular.” Before I knew it, I had developed more self-image issues from that one stupid comment that someone so unworthy of me had brought up. I think everyone has their own conceptions of what “beautiful” looks like. For my friend, a wispy thin girl with arms much smaller than his might have been his cup of tea, but it wasn’t his call to tell me how he thinks I should look.

How many more women have been affected by these sorts of opinionated comments from men or other women? And for the men reading this, how many of the women close to you have made self-degrading comments about their size or their weight despite how you think they look fine they way they are? Do any of you find it puzzling?

To conclude, I want to say that men have a huge impact on the way women feel about themselves. This seems like a very strange thing to say – that men can play a part in defining a woman’s sense of self worth, but in this society where women feel they are never thin enough, your comments can either reinforce this unhealthy thinking or help bring out the best in them without size as a determining factor of who they are.

As E.E. Cummings once said,

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting

We won’t have a problem with ourselves until we are consistently told time and time again that there is something wrong with us. Just the same way we doubt our ideas on what we already know when people tell us over and over again that what we know is wrong. Then we become brainwashed.

Social Media: Starved for Attention

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attention seekers, facebook, fleeting moments, freshideas, inside my mind, loneliness, lonely, social connection, social media

There is something so wrong with the way we socialize and communicate in our generation. I see this in my every day life and in the daily lives of many others. For example, rather than making time to see other people, I am constantly on my phone, checking my Facebook newsfeed to see how many people cared about my posts or taking pictures for the sake of gaining likes on Instagram.

Social media is an outlet for people to let others know that we are here – that we are interesting people with interesting lives. We work hard to create a mask for ourselves, and our Facebook pages reflect this with all the posts brimming with selected events in our lives so that others can perceive us as awesome individuals. I know this because I am guilty of this. Whenever I decide to make posts on Facebook, I always think about whether or not this will make me look good or bad. We feel good when other people seem interested in what we are doing, the last restaurant we ate at, or the latest party we attended and so much of our energy is focused on building this mask that we neglect our personal growth and socializing with others in real time.

And then there is dating. People spend so much time behind their screens chatting to countless people all at the same time that they don’t really have time to spend time with someone in person. Back in the day, when people had to pick up their phones to make a call, the focus was on one girl, or one guy – it’s a lot harder to chat with 3-4 girls/guys in one night over the phone, but texting makes this a possibility. So there is always a bit of uncertainty with dating. Sometimes, I wonder how many people my date is chatting with, and a sense of doubt will wash over me, making it hard for me to believe what they say.

It’s a double edged sword. Social media has made it a lot easier for people to connect with one another but it comes with a price. It’s like a very tall fence; you can touch and make contact with others from the other side, but it takes a lot more effort to make the climb up to actually BE there on the other side. The advantage of social media is that it provides an avenue for shy guy/girls to approach people – it’s as easy as a poke, or a hi over the internet, but so many interactions are only a fleeting moment. It only requires minimal effort to make an interaction possible, and the interaction can end as abruptly as it started.

There are many days where I feel lonely and I go online to check my statuses just to see who can give me some immediate attention, but even with the responses I receive, I’ve never felt more ignored and empty. It’s a strange thing, but nothing will change anytime soon unless I decide to log off and make more time to see the people I care about.

Letter to a Bad Date

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bad dates, dating, dating and relationships, first dates, funny, funny dates, funny experiences, relationships, sarcasm, sarcastic

Hello Mr. Bad Date,

I’ve met you only once, but even to this day, I still remember the hopelessly bad blind date we had. When you asked me out, I decided to give you a chance… but boy were you a strange one. It was nice that you came to pick me up in your convertible, where you were concerned enough about my hair getting messy to ask if I would prefer the hood up or down.

How thoughtful you were to ask.

Instead of taking me to a conventional Starbucks, you expressed how much you enjoyed bubble tea, so we went to the only bubble tea place downtown to have a drink. I have to admit, you were odd. You were odd in the way you dressed, odd in the way you tried to impress me, and odd in the things you chose to talk about.

Let’s start with why the date failed:

If what you wore was your best outfit for a date, I would hate to imagine what you wear on your regular days. You showed up in a Hugo Boss sportswear shirt that looked more like a cheap dri-fit. I was quite confused if we were going to visit the gym together afterwards because you also wore track pants, but then you paired that up with sandals. Confusing indeed. I have to commend you on your choice of jewellery though. Maybe you wanted me to show me you were rich, because you had a lot more jewellery on than I did, and I’m the girl. From your bling sunglasses on your forehead and diamond studs, to the gold chain necklace and thick metal ring – I do admit, I was distracted because it was JUST… SO… SHINY.

Besides feeling a little out of place in the corner of the quiet and quaint bubble tea place, you started to talk about yourself. You actually spent more time talking about yourself than asking me to talk about myself. Maybe you wanted to see if I was a good listener? Despite listening more than half the time, the things I had to listen to were interesting in an “acquired taste” sort of way.

First, you tried to impress me with your “business,” which wasn’t very impressive. You talked about how you’re rebuilding your house and how expensive it is because you have to pay the builders $500 a day – you even calculated how many days it would take till completion multiplied by $500 just to show me how much free cash you had. Then you even whipped out your iPhone with the waterproof case (with that much money, I didn’t think you needed a waterproof case – if you damage your phone, you can just buy a new one right?) to show me which stock you bought and how you wished you had sold it a few days ago. I didn’t know much about stocks at that time, but looking at the downward slope of the graph, I didn’t think you were doing so well with that one.

I learned a LOT about you. You were so in love with Tupac and all your East coast versus West coast that I actually could not follow. Ahh… now I see why you had the gold chain on. I know you love to show me things on your phone because you whipped it out again to show me how meaningful and real Tupac’s lyrics were versus all the angry shit that other rappers rapped about nowadays.

Then, this is when things got WEIRD. You started talking about Free Masons, and how everything happening around the world is a conspiracy. You even found Youtube videos for me right on the spot to show me how everything was a scam, going as far as to find me what you claim was a “legit” source of information where the scams were reported on the news channel. Oh yes, how reliable the news are. It’s understandable if you were telling me these things because you saw it mentioned somewhere, but no, I was shocked to learn you were OBSESSED with researching about them! And needless to say, THAT was when our date ended.

To be honest, I think you had really good intentions. No doubt about it. You wanted to show me you had edge, what with your ride and your strange taste in clothing; you wanted to show me you could lead a conversation by giving me limited opportunity to speak; you wanted to blind me with your wealth through your Bling; you wanted to show me the wisdom of the world with Tupac’s words; and you wanted to give me a sense of danger like the vibe bad boys give off (because girls just LOVE bad men) with sharing info regarding the corruption of the world.

You know, I GET it. And I played it cool. I stuck with it for the hour that we were together because I was too nice at that time to escape (the place was too empty to make a clean escape) or to tell you I had enough. What I am sure about though, is that if I saw you again, I would make a run for it, and you wouldn’t be able to catch me because you are probably still wearing man sandals.

Cheers to not meeting again,

~A

Dating Ambitious Men

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dates, dating, dating and relationships, dating life, datingandrelationships, datingcoach, life, love concerns, loveadvice, relationshipadvice

I find ambitious men extremely sexy. Maybe it’s the sweat on their brow when they’re working late into the night, or their suaveness when they’re trying to sell their idea to a potential client. As interesting as ambitious men are, I’ve noticed a very big limitation to dating an ambitious man.
Ambitious men are usually very busy because they are focused on building their empire and are working on reaching their goals. As a result of their busy schedule, it is hard for them to find the time to date. There was a great guy I knew, and after we met each other the first time, we exchanged emails over the course of three months to try to plan a day to meet again. Three long months. And guess what? We still haven’t made concrete plans to meet. Each time he sent me an email, he made it clear to me that he’d love to meet me again, and he would proceed to ask me what my schedule was like. And each time I responded, it took days for him to respond, and each time would end with him apologizing because he had business functions or meetings with clients at those times. And thus, this went over and over again for months until I decided that I probably would not be very happy to date a guy with such a full schedule.

On the other extreme, I’ve briefly dated a guy who was finishing his degree at school. He quit his last part time job a few months ago and didn’t bother looking for a new one, so with just one part time course, this guy had a lot of free time. He was always demanding to see me while I was busy with work. Thoughts like, “Oh my god, Can’t you go and find a job?? Please??” ran through my head.
Nevertheless, both situations didn’t work out. I realize you can’t have someone who has plentiful time and lots and lots of ambition (as I have yet to meet him). And as much as I adore ambitious men, I also need someone who has the time to spend with me. It seems I need to find a balance between the two!

Why are People so Obsessed with Innocence?

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Innocence, life questions, musings, musings of life, obsession, purity, relationships, strange ideas, white

Do you know? White is the easiest colour to taint.

Once it is stained, it is extremely difficult to return to being completely white. Do you remember those white colour pencils that came with your colour pencil sets? It was the most useless pencil ever (I’ve certainly never used them, except on black paper) but that never stopped those cute kiddies from trying to colour over their mistakes with the white pencils. Of course, the white would never be able to completely cover over the other colours and they learn early on that once you make a boo-boo with one colour, you have to colour it over with something darker and darker. And as people gain more life experience, they grow increasingly more complex.

Why do people like innocence so much? An “innocent” person (by the definition I would like to discuss) is someone who hasn’t seen much of the world, who hasn’t yet been exposed to a whole lot of experiences, especially social ones. This person is like the piece of white paper that we got as children for us to draw on and scribble on. Pure, untouched, and clean.

When was the last time you liked to be handed a piece of paper that already had lots of different colours and patterns on it that someone else put there? There’s not much room for you to make your mark unless you spend a copious amount of time drawing on it or utilizing what is on the paper to make something original. You either accept the scribbles and boo-boos that someone else has made, or look for another piece of paper that has more white space on it.

I wonder if this is the reason people like innocence. They like the idea that they will be the one to put the colours on the paper for the first time. And as much as some of us like to say that they will never try to change someone, the truth is, human beings subconsciously want to make a mark in the world, especially on each other. Let’s be honest, human beings feel good when they are able to make a difference in other people’s lives. 

We see this every single day.

When someone makes decisions based on our recommendations, we feel good about it. We try to persuade others of the righteousness of our values, and convert others to our religions. We enjoy showing someone our view of the world and even more when they begin to see the world in the same way we do, or enjoy doing the same things we do. 

I think the obsession with innocence is that we simply have more opportunities to get a reaction out of someone and create a bigger ripple in someone’s life. It adds to our pride as a human being when we are able to make a notable difference in someone’s life. 

What do you think? Why do people value “innocence” so much?

~

Don’t Discredit Yourself on a First Date

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baddate, baddates, dating, dating and relationships, dating problems, first dates, love, love problems

Lately, someone messaged me through online dating and while we were making plans to meet up, he said to me, “I’m looking forward to seeing you! I just hope you won’t be too disappointed with me, haha.”

I replied, “how so?” and he said, ” I guess I’m a little bit concerned with my own appearance, I don’t consider myself good looking, handsome, etc.”

So I asked him, “Do you have confidence in other parts of your life?”

And he said, “Perhaps in my public speaking skills.”

This led me to ask him,

IF you don’t feel like you are good enough to meet me, how am I supposed to feel it’s a good idea to meet you?

I understand how scary it is for a guy to approach a girl and talk to her, but once you’ve made contact, it’s extremely important to show confidence.

In the courting phase, it’s a turn off when a man shows that they are not comfortable with themselves. The initial dating phase is the time for both people to show their best sides to impress the other and insecurities will find their way to the surface eventually, but the initial meeting is definitely not the time to let me know what you don’t like about yourself.

I mean, did he want me to agree with him or disagree with him? It’s likened to a woman telling a man she thinks she is fat. If he thinks she is fat, is he supposed to agree? Even if he feels differently about it, the fact that she already believes she is fat will only undermine his disagreement. Don’t get me wrong, there ARE people out there who throw out statements like that because they like reaffirmation. I have quite strong opinions about people like that, but that will be for a future post. 🙂

(For the record, I HAVE seen this guy’s pictures and I think he looks fine, so he technically shouldn’t discredit himself before he has met me). How is he so sure that I am looking to meet a stud?

There was another time I was on a date with a guy who told me he wasn’t a great driver (he really did suck), and that he had no sense of direction (he depended on his GPS to get us three blocks back onto the main road). It’s fine if he didn’t bring it up because he could’ve sneakily let his GPS guide us back without me noticing, but the fact that he told me only accentuated his weakness as I began to pay more attention to his driving. Do you see what I mean?!

I’m not sure why people do that. Maybe they feel it’s nice that they warn me about their flaws so that I am less shocked when I find out for myself? Truth is, I probably won’t notice very much in the beginning, but it’s actually ten times worse to let me know now than for me to find out later. I know this sounds totally odd, but let me explain.

Focus on showing her your strengths and let her fall in love with those before she learns your flaws.

Your strengths most likely will outweigh your flaws and she’ll probably still find you quite attractive regardless of it. With my date, bad driving and a bad sense of direction wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but instead of allowing me to focus on his more attractive qualities, he brought attention to his weaknesses and they stood out like a sore thumb.

So for the men out there, please remember that it’s important to make yourself sound good and look good if you’re being truthful about it (no one likes liars). But in the initial phases of dating, no one really wants to hear about how you used to be bullied, or that you failed at your last relationship because of some personality traits you possess. At least not on the first date. ~

Dodging a Love Bullet

Tags

date, dating, datingproblems, datingquestions, douchebag, firstdates, firstlove, loveproblems, relationships, smoothtalker

I recently met a guy through online dating who seemed so very sweet. He was tall, smart, and had a great sense of style. He wasn’t afraid to tell me how much he is interested in me or how much he wanted to see me. In fact, he texted me everyday asking if he could come visit me at work, or if I would come and meet him for a short time (and no, he wasn’t suggesting I meet him at his place or mine). I was smart enough to refrain from telling him my work location, but that didn’t stop him from asking to visit me at work every time I mentioned I am at work.  From my previous experiences with dating, I found this guy a little unsettling because I’ve actually only known him for a week and half, and we’ve only met up three times, but he seemed way too interested in me to be true. I certainly don’t doubt my own attractiveness, but it seemed he wanted to move things along at a speed I didn’t recognize.

The first time I met him was over coffee, where he arrived half an hour late and I learned that he was just a student and had to take public transit to get to the coffee house. To make it up to me, he told me he would take me out for dinner and a night of karaoke because he actually sings quite well.

So, I let him take me out on a surprise date on a foggy Sunday night, and we went for dinner, dessert, and then karaoke. I was surprised when he took my hand after we finished dinner because no one has been ever so bold to do that on previous dates (I guess I generally give off a vibe that I get ticked off easily if you do something I don’t like). I let it slide, but I wasn’t completely comfortable with this guy who is technically a stranger get so close. So off we go to the karaoke place, which I knew to be a safe and legit place. It was also a little empty considering it was a Sunday night, but regardless of that, we had a great time singing together. When he put his hand on my thigh a few times, it did cause me to raise my eyebrows at him.

I told him I think things are moving too fast and that I want things to move slower and he said sure, babe.

After that, he told me day after day how much he missed me, and that he wanted to see me, even if it was to accompany me home from work. Despite the weirdness of him calling me “Baby, honey, and babe,” already, I did find him a little endearing, but I wasn’t convinced he was being real. It is my responsibility to pace the relationship, as I feel that this is extremely important in being able to tell how sincere he is about me. I didn’t agree to see him everyday, but I still continued to text  to try to get to know him a little better. I noticed that he would always express that he wanted to see me, but he would never really ask me about myself, such as my likes and dislikes, or what I’m interested in, or even to find a common interest between the two of us. When I would say I wanted to try this or that, he would respond by saying, “Sure, we can do anything as long as I can be with you.”

A few days ago, I caught a bad cold and I had to stay at the office quite late to finish some paperwork as a favour to my boss.  Around 10:30pm, Smooth Talker (my date) texts me and says, “Baby, I miss you. Come see me.”

I respond, “It’s quite late..” (and I was feeling quite unwell and I had mentioned quite a few times I had a cold)

Smooth Talker responds with, “It won’t take long, we can go somewhere close to your place.”  I ignore him that night due to his inconsideration.

The next day, Smooth Talker tried to ask me out again. I rejected his last minute request, but agreed to go running with him at a local park in order to train for a marathon I was going to run. Smooth Talker agrees immediately, but he wanted me to meet him at the location he usually starts to run at, which is an area of the park I am unfamiliar with. I explain to him that I am coming from the north direction and that I would like to start running from there. It was a battle. He wouldn’t yield to me, and I certainly wasn’t going to meet him at a location I’m not familiar with!

What surprised me was when he accused me of not showing enough affection.

Fair enough.  I didn’t have much affection to show him because I didn’t know him well enough to fall for him. Maybe he thought a week and a half was enough to charm me with his sweet words, but I am not so naive. Dating is a period where you try to build a foundation, and to see if you both have similar values and goals before you proceed. I admit I am attracted initially to how a guy looks like, but what really makes me fall is someone that have characteristics that I like. Smooth Talker hasn’t shown me any characteristics in the short time we’ve known each other for me to like him enough to show him the affection he craves, yet, he expects me to call him Baby, and pine for him the way he says he does for me. I know for a fact that there are LOTS of girls who would fall for someone like him. He can charm your socks off (or your underclothes perhaps).

He flatters you like crazy, and if you don’t have much self-esteem, you could easily be swept away, especially when you think, “It’s hard to find someone who likes me that much that he wants to see me everyday! And he’s good looking too!”

The trouble is, people like him, Fast-Forwarders (I researched this last night), may be swept up by you quite easily too, but what starts fast, ends fast. 

If you haven’t built up a good foundation, and you are already committing to someone, giving him your time, your emotions, or even sex, the relationship can come undone EXTREMELY fast.

By the time he starts to go cold, you may be in too deep and get hurt. I’d rather save myself from that bullet in the head, thank you very much. ~